People ask me if I ever think about drinking. The answer to that is, sometimes. Sometimes I just wish that I could black out and not deal with reality as it stands today. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed with my own character defects that I wish I could find an escape that doesn’t necessarily cause harm to other people. But I know that my relationship with alcohol is volatile. As is my relationship with any other mind altering drug. My addictions will pop up in other ways like spending addiction, eating foods that are counterproductive to my goals, and seeking unhealthy relationships where I am seemingly exerting my own will in the name of “helping”. then I think about all of the harm that drugs and alcohol have caused my life. All of the ways that I feel like I’m still behind at 36 years old. All of the time, money, emotions, effort that has been wasted because of my addiction. And I never want to go back. Cheers to four years of sobriety, taking it one day at a time.